Although we are human (and we think we are above all animals), there are still attributes from the wild that we carry in our genes. They aren't bad or evil but everything is good up to a certain and reasonable amount. So there are people that cannot or don't want to control some of those behaviors, perhaps because it gives them joys.
Anyway, one of the reasons that some people are bullying the others is the fact that they feel stronger compare to them therefore they feel in power and obviously this gives them a good feeling. Particularly when the bullying is in front of other people, the satisfaction is much higher.
That aside, there could be some people with psychological problem but even with those, the ultimate goal of bullying is satisfaction.
Now, in order to achieve that level of satisfaction, these people look for their pray very carefully. Their victim is normally a person who cannot bear with the way the bullying person is treating them. So what to do?
Don't expect a simple solution for such a big problem but I have been using this technique unconsciously and perhaps after analysing and learning people's behavior which is my habit all the time.
So to avoid bullying people or rather make them to turn around and walk away you will need to disappoint them from achieving their goal.
I know it's easier said than done but with a bit of practice not only you let them down but also you will feel strong and perhaps even the winner of this battle.
All you need to do is to prove them you are indifferent of what they say/do and perhaps you're even agree with that!
To show you what exactly I mean, let's say Mr McBullier wants to bully me in front of my classmates, he says:
"Hey did you know your nose is like a hammer? Maybe we should name you hammer-nose." [Every one is laughing]
Now all these answers/reactions are complete mistake:
- Go away! I'm not in the right mood [some guys say ooh]
- [No answer and turning my head]
- What about yours? Your nose is girly! [again some people say ooh and others laugh]
These are the right reactions:
- Haha yeah when I look at myself in the mirror I say the same thing [saying with smile]
- Hammer-nose is good name any other idea? [laughing]
I can assure you if this happens twice and you react the right way as above, there won't be a third time and Mr McBullier will look for another person. He will feel a loser inside.
The above was a fictional example but with the same technique I tackled with these people from my high school and university all the way to present in workplace.
Read these real life examples:
1. In year 6 this guy liked to punch in people's belly and when they were weeping in pain, he was laughing. He did this to me twice and it was painful. The third time, I tried to put myself together and I said:
man that was painful, I'm going to try this with my dad todayI was in absolute pain but tried to say it in a funny way. Guess what? That never happened again.
2. Year 7, two guys wanted to convince me to go with them to a ruined building and I knew they are up to something. I didn't go but I knew they won't stop trying again. And I knew if I tell the principals things may even get worst. Despite that, I told the principals and the next day, they came to me in front of other classmates they said:
Hey kid, what did you really say to the principal? I can imagine you were sobbing and perhaps pissed in your pantsMy reply was:
Haha no I went to toilet before talking to principalsInterestingly, we became friends after that and they never tried that again!
3. This guy was making fun of me and I wasn't happy, desperately trying to avoid him but he wouldn't let me go. I realised that behavior is just encouraging him to chase me. So finally, he wrote an "X" on my buttocks. Although I was angry as hell, I tried to laugh and told him that I have to wash it again. That ended right there and he never did it again.
So my advice is to defend with agreement. If you are parent who reads this, please teach your kids not to react aggressively.
Perhaps you can practice it at home with some example so they are prepared.
Whether you know your kids are being bullied or not or you're sure that nobody is bullying them, it's a good practice for children for their future and dealing with different type of people.
You can ask them what they would reply if their classmate says such a thing and then explain them why their reaction isn't right and how they should behave. And then you can perform the same scenario as if you are the person who is bullying and your kid is being bullied so that they can feel and gain experience.
Good luck :)